New Year's Eve

Finally, the end of this bloody awful year but, sadly, no chance for anyone to have any sort of celebration and not much chance that things will be any better for the foreseeable. As of today most of the country is effectively under lockdown... again.

New Year is usually a time for renewal, for looking forward, for hope and for putting the past behind you. Looking forward with hope might be a bit of a stretch under the current circumstances and we seem to be dragging the past with us...

It looks like the Govt is actively trying to ruin this country while following their stated aim to "Protect the NHS". Almost every other business in the UK will be dead or dying but, no worries... Boris will have saved his "wonderful" NHS. What the bloody hell he's saving it for is anybody's guess. 

Once again this morning I stood outside my GPs surgery to collect my usual prescription... in a temperature of -2C and a thick frost. It's been so long since anyone went in the front doors there were dead leaves in a little heap outside. I'm reasonably healthy and able-bodied... just as well, if this is the 'service' they offer. That's our wonderful NHS for you.

Despite all the hype about vaccines (not for me, thank you) I expect this nonsense to go on well into next year, quite possibly for the entire year, mainly because they don't know how effective the vaccines will be in the longer term nor do they have a clear plan for how to draw this debacle to a close. Case numbers will naturally die down a bit when the better weather comes in spring and summer but if the figures start to rise again Govt will go into panic mode... and off we'll go again with the next lockdown. Rinse and repeat. Ad nauseum.

Still, at least Brexit is done, if you can call it that - a cobbled together crappy deal which no-one who voted for Brexit ever wanted. Four a half years too late but I will raise a glass at 11pm to say "Good riddance EU".

Tomorrow is not only another day, it's another year. Let's see what it brings.

Clearing the decks

Well, thank god that's over. I never want to have to go through that again. The first time in his whole 41 years that we didn't see our son in person at Christmas.

We had a nice Christmas lunch and lots of treats and picky bits but it all seemed a bit hollow and pointless.  

Decorations and tree were taken down yesterday morning. Yep, all cleared away on Boxing Day. I couldn't bear it any longer - it felt as though all the reminders of Christmas were mocking us, saying "Look at what you should have had"; so it's all put back in the boxes and safely stashed away until next year. If we're still in the same situation next December I won't need a new winter coat, I'll be sporting a straitjacket.

The Queen's speech on TV hit exactly the right note; made me cry when she said "All many people want is a hug or the touch of a hand". She may be the Queen but she's also a Mum and a Grandma - it's the first time in many years that she and Prince Philip have spent Christmas alone. She's 94 and he's 99; how many more Christmases do they have left to share with their family? 

Much of the south and east of the country has now gone into Tier 4, but I think this is only a prelude to full lockdown. A little thought... if lockdown works, why didn't the first one or the second one do the trick? Well, because they don't bloody work, that's why!!

Just to rub salt in the wound of 2020, some poor devils were flooded out of their homes over Christmas... and, as if that's not bad enough, we had a hell of a storm last night, a howling wind and driving rain battering the windows. Christ, haven't we suffered enough? Why not bring on the plague of frogs and have done with it?

The best thing about 2020 was the lovely afternoon tea we had with The Troops to celebrate Mr S-V's birthday in January; after that the year went steadily downhill and quickly turned into an unremitting nightmare. I'll be glad to see the back of it.

Tears in M&S

It was a ten-second interaction with a complete stranger at 7.15 this morning that did it. We were both trying to manoeuvre our trollies through a busy aisle in M&S; we both did the "After you...!"..."No, after you...!" shuffle, then she said "I don't know why we do it - it's the same every bloody year!". We laughed and moved off. 

At which point my laughter stopped, because nothing about Christmas this year is the same. I couldn't see the woman's smile or facial expression, we were carefully standing at a distance, to avoid over-crowding we'd been counted into the store, I was buying much less than usual because it's just the two of us here... and Mr S-V was waiting for me in the car instead of being list-master and chief trolley pusher. Everything felt wrong - everything is wrong. I promptly burst into tears.

Sailing a bit close to the water all the time right now, sadly. 

I'll be glad when this bloody awful Christmas is over. This is a dystopian nightmare where Covid has become a new religion and, like all religions, its adherents will brook no argument. It's not good.

Breaking News: According to that creep, Hancock, our area goes into Tier 4 on Boxing Day... They can do what they bloody like, I don't even care any more. I suspect we'll get countrywide lockdown in the New Year... they'll spend their Christmas break thinking what fresh hell they can heap upon us.

Absolutely broken

We drove to our son's this morning; car loaded up with presents, and food from yesterday's delivery that we can't possibly use just for the two of us. Left everything at their front door, waved to the grandchildren through the window, and drove straight home. It broke me... I never want to do anything like that again for the rest of my life. We barely exchanged a word on the way home... neither of us could speak.

Why did we do this? Well, not because I'm scared of catching Covid, I'm not, but because it's the law and I refuse to let our son break the law to come to us on Christmas Eve. Also, our grandchildren have to see people (us and their parents) adhering to the law even though though this particular one is unnecessary and pointless. Children need to know that you can't pick and choose which laws to abide by.

Yes... I know that, strictly speaking, we shouldn't even have delivered the pressies but we were doing the exact same thing delivery drivers have been doing since this whole debacle began. So clap me in irons, I don't much care.

It'll be Christmas for just the two of us with some nice food, a few presents... and a lot of tears on Skype, I suspect.

I've never believed in Heaven or Hell, they're just fairy stories for the stupid, but if by some freak chance there is a Hell I'd like Boris and his mates from SAGE to burn there for all eternity. Bastards, all of them.

I just want Christmas to be over - even in a good year it's a really charged and emotional time. This year it's almost more than I can handle.

Christmas cancelled

So that's it. Christmas cancelled. That bastard Johnson has pulled the plug on it.

The Troops live in an area which goes into Tier 4 at midnight tonight - they're not allowed to travel to us and we're not allowed to travel to them. Decorations are up, presents are under the tree, Waitrose delivery arrives tomorrow... and all for nothing.

I'm done crying - it's just despair now and crushing disappointment.

I really hope one day Johnson and his 'scientist' cronies pay for what they're doing to people. They won't of course... they're fireproof.

Nine months and counting...

... and still it goes on. London and other parts of the Southeast have been plunged into Tier 3 - I fully expect our area to follow suit after the Christmas 'amnesty'; the number of cases locally is rising, nothing exceptional, but just enough for panic stricken politicians to ruin a few more local businesses before the New Year.

Apparently, a group of idiot MPs have 'had talks' about whether we can still meet our families at Christmas. Boris says we can still get together but "...a shorter Christmas is a safer Christmas". Jesus Christ - another bloody slogan! They clearly wanted to renege on allowing people to meet up, but weren't brave enough to weather the backlash. 

It's unbearable that these total tossers can exercise such control over my life. Oh, and just for the record, I'm sick of being spoken about by politicians as though I'm some sort of imbecile, without a mind of my own, just because I have a few years under my belt. I might be a Grandma but I'll make my own decisions, thanks, and I'll decide what risks I'm willing to take. I don't need to be taken by the hand and spoon-fed by an overpaid, jumped-up Civil Servant! I am just about keeping a lid on my rage... mostly. 

As any football supporter (particularly West Ham fans, as I well know!) will tell you - "It's the hope that kills you", and that's one of the major problems we all have right now... there's no hope. Every single news bulletin, political interview and ministerial briefing only offers more doom and gloom - never any hope of better times, just more strictures and rules to adhere to. My mental health is shot to pieces - I can only imagine how bad it is for some poor souls.

People desperately need a break from all this Covid crap at Christmas, no matter how much misery-guts Whitty goes on about the risk. We have to feel normal for a short while so we can recharge our batteries before we plunge headlong into whatever 2021 holds. Give us something to hold onto, for god's sake!

I'm holding on to seeing our four lovely Troops on Christmas Eve and having an indulgent Christmas Day with Mr S-V. We'll probably end up watching The Godfather again - feet up on the sofa and something munchy to hand; it's become a bit of an annual tradition - what a great film!  

We both bought Christmas cards for each other as we usually do - himself doesn't like the one he gave me and I really hate the one I gave him... but that's internet shopping for you!

Tree's up!

 

Less than two weeks to go and our tree's up - not huge but, as anyone will tell you, size isn't everything! Little bit earlier than usual, but we need all the feelgood factors we can lay our hands on this year.

Father Christmas interrupted his busy schedule yesterday and did a drive-by through the village! It was lovely for the children who've had to miss a visit to his grotto this year.

I'm very much aware that everyone's Christmas plans may still come to nothing if Boris, even at this late stage, listens to his 'scientists'; he can still pull the plug on festivities. The hand-wringing boffins are giving daily warnings of dire consequences if we have the temerity to see our families over Christmas - I bet they're a riot at parties! It gets on my bloody nerves. They can sod off.

The sad thing is so many people are still going along with this nonsense; on the back of Govt lies they're going to spend Christmas on their own rather than risk getting a disease from which 99.5% of people recover. I've got no time for them if they're stupid enough to trust the Govt rather than think for themselves. See your family for god's sake, you're a long time dead.

Brexit is not going well. Boris and the EU have extended the deadline to give them time to cobble some sort of fudged deal together. What they're really trying to do is come up with a way of us staying in the cesspit of the EU while kidding us that we've left. Boris isn't much of a Leader and he certainly isn't a Leaver; if he really had been, we would have been out of the clutches of the EU a damn sight quicker than this. Liars and shysters, the lot of 'em.

I mentioned panic buying in my last post. Unsurprisingly, people are already clearing the shelves, not helped by newspaper headlines shrieking "Don't stockpile food!" What do they think people are going to do after seeing that?? As Corporal Jones might say "Don't panic, Mr Mainwaring"!!

Brexit, Covid and Christmas

Covid has been knocked off the main headlines by Brexit. The very same Brexit that we voted for in 20-bloody-16! If the Govt had wanted to they could have had it done and dusted within three months but, because they never wanted it to happen, they've done everything they possibly can to avoid us getting out of the rancid, self-serving cesspit of the EU. We'll never be free of it, the bloody politicians will make sure of that.

Boris is off to Brussels this week, presumably to reassure the EU... "Don't worry, we're not really leaving, this is all just smoke and mirrors to appease the British public".

I've noticed people recently saying they've started hoarding household and food essentials for when (or, more likely, if) Brexit happens - you'd think the world was going to end! What a load of hand-wringing bedwetters they are - grow up, you fools! How do they think we managed to find anything to eat before we had the massed ranks of overpaid, unelected EU bureaucrats giving us the benefit of their wisdom...?!

It's actually a relief to see headlines about anything other than Covid - I'm almost unable to even think about it any more - it makes me so angry what the Govt is doing to this country. I'm in a constant state of simmering rage and resentment and I don't imagine I'm the only one, either. 

Oh, and Matt Hancock blubbing and the nice picture of the first elderly lady to receive the vaccine makes no difference to me; I'm not having it, they can still shove their crappy vaccine where the sun don't shine until I can see the long-term data.

With so much stress around right now - and the smallest event assuming the proportions of Mount Everest - I very nearly murdered Mr S-V at the weekend! He accidentally managed cut through the cable of the lights on our little outdoor Christmas tree (don't ask...!) He's still standing though, and the situation was salvaged by draping another set of lights around the tree which looks as good as new... so long as you don't examine it too closely. Murder averted. Temporarily.

In a concerted effort to ignore Covid the Christmas cards are all written, ready for posting, and we've now started putting up the indoor decorations. We'll probably do the tree tomorrow. It's nice to see things starting to look festive but I can't stand it for too long - it comes down the day after Boxing Day, or even Boxing Day itself! I'm champing at the bit by then to get my house back to normal.

Had some Waitrose stollen today - it was a delight! Cake to marzipan ratio was just right. Highly recommended. Also managed to get my mitts on one of their panettone; can't wait to sample it, but I must save enough for a panettone bread and butter pudding - that's the best bit!

December 1st

1st of December... time to start opening my Advent calendar! Not chocolate, just little pictures. I'm very old-fashioned about these things..

I bought the pudding teapot from Next - I thought it was cute. Do I need it? No, I never use a teapot, but it's cheerful and it made me smile. I need as many smiles as I can get right now. Might put the outside lights up later on, that'll make me smile too.

Sunny but flippin' freezing this morning and Ken Bruce is on Radio 2 playing wall-to-wall Christmas music. All join in - sing along!

Disappointed, but not surprised, to see a sizeable number of people online parading their virtue (and gullibility) by making snarky comments about those who plan to see their family at Christmas. Saying stuff like "People are selfish, they should stay at home for the greater good, blah, blah, blah... They just have to give up their Christmas for one year - the two of us will be safely staying at home blah, blah... People should have a Zoom party like us, you can't be too careful" etc. etc. Oh, give it a rest!

What they really mean is "Look at us; aren't we wonderful? Just look at the sacrifices we're making - we're so superior to you; look how community spirited we are". 

Actually, I think they're all gullible and brainless and, furthermore, they're mistaking me for someone who gives a toss about the greater good... I've been told by Boris I can see The Troops, so I am, and I'll bloody love every second! So, sod off and take your hairshirt and your fake virtue with you.

Where was I? Oh yes... December 1st, the start of Christmas. 

Now that December's here my once-a-year treat made an appearance this morning - Belazu marinated figs - they're addictive, which is why I only buy them once a year as a Christmas treat. I love porridge and those little figs take it to another level!

Is it too early to start playing Christmas music? I do like a Christmas tune, even carols, although I've never willingly set foot in a church in my entire life. Might have to have a trawl through YouTube. Still a bit early for indoor decorations, though. Next week maybe...