Saturday, 6 February 2021

Difficult days

We sat on the bench in the garden for about 10 minutes with a cup of tea yesterday. It wasn't particularly warm, we were both wearing fleeces, but the sun was out and the unaccustomed brightness was a joy after so much rain and greyness recently. 

A few crocuses and snowdrops were showing their faces in the borders... there was a promise of spring in the air; it gave us a chance to breathe and feel a bit more connected to the world, even if only for a while. You have to grab the high points where you can these days.

The world feels weird and the weather's joining in - today it's been cold, wet, sunny, wet again and tomorrow we have heavy snow forecast... all we need is fog and we'll have managed four seasons in a weekend! 

A while back I said Nigella's Emergency Brownies might be needed in the future... the time has now come. Every damn day seems like an emergency. I don't like chocolate much but I do like a chocolate cake or dessert so I set to this morning; I think I must be one of the few people alive who've never made brownies before. They weren't very pretty although they tasted divine. I'll have another go when I'm feeling less stressed... god knows when that's likely to be. It seems to be a permanent state of mind.

Later this month we have a double funeral to look forward to. I have a feeling I'll need more than cake to get through it. Sometimes I wish I liked alcohol.

I really must buck up.

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